Friday, February 18, 2005

Joke of the Day

Black Jack sent me this; so I thought I'd post it.

Wife 1.0 Operating System


HELP! - Tech Support


Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 just don't run any more.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!


Troubled User.



Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system. Once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high Maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean And Sweep 3.0,Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs.

Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NAG NAG 9.5!

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.

I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances don't get caught running a dual boot O.S. configuration with Girlfriend 7.0 and Wife 1.0 at the same time....

This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

M. Jones

MIS Department

(Gandalf's PS: I wonder if I can purchase Cook & Clean 1.0 separately as an addition to Girlfriend 7.0 without getting the bundled Nag 9.0 program?) hehehe just kidding dear...


  1. Why isn't Husband 1.0 compatible with the Clean And Sweep 3.0 or Cook It 1.5 software...That's just not fair!

  2. I can't verify the system compatibility of Husband 1.0 with the Wife 1.0 Kernel. I can however say for the record that Boyfriend 1.1 is a cleaning son of a biatch!
    It also happens to come bundled with Musical Software such as "Gospel Down The Highway on Friday 2.1", "Tahoe Rockin 1.2", and "The Greatest Hits of John Mayer 10 Platinum Edition"

  3. Can you substitute Parrothead 5.0 for the Gospel Down The Highway on Friday 2.1 with that musical package?

  4. can i possibly get a copy of boyfriend 1.1? i'll take real good care of it, i promise

  5. Not all girlfriends 7.0 turn into wife 1.0 there are still a few good investments out there...


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