Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I NEED TO VENT!

Can I just get some crap off my chest? I know you may not care to hear it, but if I don't let it go I will explode! I am beginning to hate EVERYTHING about the OC!!!!! Since the first of Jan. I have been on "probation" meaning that they think I'm not doing my job up to par. So, for Feb my hours got cut, to see if I would work hard enough to prove myself (which is kinda hard to do when you can't work any). Well, this past weekend we had a $2500 night (a great Sat is usually $1500-$1900), and I felt like I worked my ass off very well! I didn't have any customers complaining about having to wait too long for anything, and were fairly pleased with my service (even Daryl had thought I did pretty well)! BUT, it wasn't good enough! Somehow, someway I have truly pissed in F.O.'s cornflakes and I am on his shit-list! Someone that knows me please tell me what I have done wrong!? I messed up again tonight (by playing a vid game w/ a customer while there were 2 others at the bar) and he got even more pissed about it! He told Daryl that I can't have anymore Tues or Fri shifts, because I can't handle them! Me, who was the first bartender to serve liquor and worked the whole first week we did, the one who bailed them out of their daytime trouble and took the daytime position, the one that decorated for every holiday we had this past year and made signs about opening/closing changes, the one who has done more than her fair share in helping that place!!!! What am I doing that is so wrong? Except for this past Sat night, I haven't left there from working without crying for the past 2 months! I really wanted that other job so I could tell them to take-it-and-shove-it, but that didn't work out........so now once again I'm back in the same boat. I was told earlier tonight that I am very close to possibly getting the boot, and then really not be able to take care of myself (since that is the primary source of my income). :(.... Where am I going wrong? Daryl told me to step up (run around like a chicken with my head cut off) but I can't function like that. I feel when it's busy that I'm in my element. I'm having fun, getting to interact a little with customers, and stay really busy. But for them I don't seem busy enough. What am I supposed to do? Run, act crazy, pretend I can't handle it? Then he told me that maybe I need to change my attitude, quit being apologetic for making people wait and be a little smart ass (well, that would be fine if in Jan they hadn't told me that I was too much of a smart ass!). Daryl said that maybe I just need to suck up a little to F.O., since he's the owner and the one that doesn't like me so much right now, but I'm all out of ideas there too. I have NEVER had anyone that disappointed with my service, and I've tried just about everything I know to do to remedy this problem without success. I hope to find something financially capable to support me so that I can tell them "to shove it where the sun don't shine"! I was once told that I was the best bartender that they had, so why has that changed? Sorry to unload this here, but I didn't know what else to do. Tommy (poor thing), has to be up at 6:00 am to start working, and I probably won't get to see him much tomorrow, so I couldn't come home and unload on him tonight, although he did wake up when he heard my crying when I walked in the door. Can you give me suggestions, any ideas to fix whatever is wrong, or job recommendations so that I can find something else to do? I'm at my wit's end with this, and it's eating me alive! Tommy and all the Scoob's love it there so much, so I want to be able to keep it a positive place, but I'm starting to hate it more and more every day..... I would love any comments from anyone (friend or newbie), to help me. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest! I love you all for letting me vent, maybe now I'll be able to get some sleep!

13 comments:

  1. Baby, I'm sorry I'm not going to be here for you today. I hate it that I've got to be in the field all day while you're upset like this.

    All I can say on the support end, is that I love you and I know you're a great bartender darling. You know it too.

    The only thing I think I can say that may help is to learn to give back as much as you take. I know you take it personally when they get on you, but it's not personal to FO, it's business.

    Just like when Scott yells and screams at me sometimes, I take some time, vent about it, and then get back to work. I KNOW I'm good, even if he always doesn't. That's what you're going to have to be able to do there. Don't let the criticisms go to your heart. Letting it mess with your heart is going to make it mess with your head. Just get in there, do your job, and go straight to FO and ask what in the hell his problem is with you so you can fix it. That's the only way you're going to get past this is to get your head level and crawl up Daryl's ass or FO's ass just like they do you. Make them get right in your face and tell you exactly what it is they don't like. If they're vague just stay at it until they break down and tell you what's wrong.

    I love you darling, and that's the only advice I have. I'm a pretty direct person, so I dont believe it going through someone else to handle your issues, whether you're the employee or the boss... go straight to the source and get mean if you have to, just don't get emotional. It's not personal to them... it's business to them and that's what it has to be to you in order for them to feel comfortable talking to you about it. They're not going to want to deal with an emotional woman, but they'll have to deal with an angry bartender.

    Make sense?

    I love you... and I'll be home soon.

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  2. PS> I took a 20 out of your wallet...

    lol

    Love you.

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  3. Hey girl, I am sorry to hear about your situation, but dont let it get to your self-esteem. You know you are good, so forget them! You can do better. If you want to know the truth, I would say that you might want to look back into going to school. That way you will end up in a job with similar benefits to the one you were wanting to get..at least one day. This town doesnt have many jobs for the untrained...in fact few towns do, so finishing your education would be the best way to ensure that you will be able to take care of yourself and be happy in what you are doing. But this is coming from a heavy advocate of education, so just ignore me :-)

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  4. Tommy, thanks for the advice on handling it that way, but I can tell you from dealing with F.O. in the past that he wouldn't deal with that way very well. That's the whole reason why Daryl has been involved in the first place. If I was to get angry with him and confront him, his response would be to get the hell out and not come back (he doesn't take kindly to being put in his place or having his authority questioned).

    Natalie, as far as school is concerned, I still have to have a job to be able to pay for my school, so I can't just bail and run. I have been planning on getting back to school this fall anyway, just thought that other job was a great opportunity. In the meantime I can't keep dealing with having no job security like this, especially when its my main source of income. The D.G. helps and all, but I won't ever make enough there to make it my only job. I really don't want to try and look for another one, considering many bars don't want to take from another one and wondering whether I'd get a good enough recommendation from them anyway.... so for the time being I'm just stuck between and rock and a hard place.

    (Oh, Tommy, as far as just trying to just get it out of my head and go in and do my job, that's what I have been doing since these talks first started. Have you seen any improvement with that method?)

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  9. April,
    I am really sorry that you have found yourself in this situation, and that is has made you question yourself. I know that you are a great person, and that you are a great bartender and it seems to me that you know what you are doing and are on top of the job all the time...maybe even more than some of your co workers. I have been in a similar situation, where I worked and worked, but the harder I worked, the more trouble I got in, and the more fed up I got. I understand just how frustrating it is, and how devestating it can feel inside, and I wish there was something I could tell you to make it better...Fortunately for me, I was able to quit my bad job, but I didn't need to keep it to support myself, I had to come back to school. All I can tell you is to keep your options open, and don't burn any bridges. Keep doing what you have always done...obviously you have done something right in the past if u were bailing other people out. Keep a smile on your face, keep customer interaction high, and keep working as hard as you do. If the bosses still don't like it, I think Tommy is right, you need to stick up for yourself a little more--and trust me, I'm not the kind of person that usually does that either, but sometimes its what you have to do. Just remember that you have people who love and care about you, and just want to see you happy. So even if work isn't the greatest place to be, you can surround yourself with some of the best people in the world to forget about it. I hope that things imporve for you though dear, and I hope that you can find a way to keep the job and settle the situation, while still looking for a better use of your time. I'm always here if you need someone to vent to over the phone. SMILE! :)

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  11. That is good, I am glad you are going to school. You being 24 now means will no longer have to claim your parent's income (as I am sure you are aware) and you will be given full financial aid, including housing. Besides, a few loans wont hurt, especially if it means not having to deal with the lack of job security, and heart-aches that you have to put up with now. And, you can always set up your classes so that you can still work...besides, you should be loyal to yourself before you are loyal to any job. (paid for by the sponsers of "Women Getting Good Education So That They Can Be In Control of Their Own Life!"..I'm not only the President...I'm also a memeber :-) )

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  12. LMAO, Natalie you are so funny! Yes, I know all about the financial aid and loans (I'm trying to pay for one from ECU), but that is my plan, I do want to be able to not work so much, but it's nice to work one night and make a few hundred, you know? But thanks for the support, every little bit has helped!

    Sorry for all the deleted posts earlier, was having major troubles with the posting page!

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