Wednesday, March 02, 2005
I NEED TO VENT!
Can I just get some crap off my chest? I know you may not care to hear it, but if I don't let it go I will explode! I am beginning to hate EVERYTHING about the OC!!!!! Since the first of Jan. I have been on "probation" meaning that they think I'm not doing my job up to par. So, for Feb my hours got cut, to see if I would work hard enough to prove myself (which is kinda hard to do when you can't work any). Well, this past weekend we had a $2500 night (a great Sat is usually $1500-$1900), and I felt like I worked my ass off very well! I didn't have any customers complaining about having to wait too long for anything, and were fairly pleased with my service (even Daryl had thought I did pretty well)! BUT, it wasn't good enough! Somehow, someway I have truly pissed in F.O.'s cornflakes and I am on his shit-list! Someone that knows me please tell me what I have done wrong!? I messed up again tonight (by playing a vid game w/ a customer while there were 2 others at the bar) and he got even more pissed about it! He told Daryl that I can't have anymore Tues or Fri shifts, because I can't handle them! Me, who was the first bartender to serve liquor and worked the whole first week we did, the one who bailed them out of their daytime trouble and took the daytime position, the one that decorated for every holiday we had this past year and made signs about opening/closing changes, the one who has done more than her fair share in helping that place!!!! What am I doing that is so wrong? Except for this past Sat night, I haven't left there from working without crying for the past 2 months! I really wanted that other job so I could tell them to take-it-and-shove-it, but that didn't work out........so now once again I'm back in the same boat. I was told earlier tonight that I am very close to possibly getting the boot, and then really not be able to take care of myself (since that is the primary source of my income). :(.... Where am I going wrong? Daryl told me to step up (run around like a chicken with my head cut off) but I can't function like that. I feel when it's busy that I'm in my element. I'm having fun, getting to interact a little with customers, and stay really busy. But for them I don't seem busy enough. What am I supposed to do? Run, act crazy, pretend I can't handle it? Then he told me that maybe I need to change my attitude, quit being apologetic for making people wait and be a little smart ass (well, that would be fine if in Jan they hadn't told me that I was too much of a smart ass!). Daryl said that maybe I just need to suck up a little to F.O., since he's the owner and the one that doesn't like me so much right now, but I'm all out of ideas there too. I have NEVER had anyone that disappointed with my service, and I've tried just about everything I know to do to remedy this problem without success. I hope to find something financially capable to support me so that I can tell them "to shove it where the sun don't shine"! I was once told that I was the best bartender that they had, so why has that changed? Sorry to unload this here, but I didn't know what else to do. Tommy (poor thing), has to be up at 6:00 am to start working, and I probably won't get to see him much tomorrow, so I couldn't come home and unload on him tonight, although he did wake up when he heard my crying when I walked in the door. Can you give me suggestions, any ideas to fix whatever is wrong, or job recommendations so that I can find something else to do? I'm at my wit's end with this, and it's eating me alive! Tommy and all the Scoob's love it there so much, so I want to be able to keep it a positive place, but I'm starting to hate it more and more every day..... I would love any comments from anyone (friend or newbie), to help me. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest! I love you all for letting me vent, maybe now I'll be able to get some sleep!