Back home again...

I thought I'd take a moment to let you all know I'm back home again, safe and sound. It made my day to get home and see April this afternoon. I missed her face these last few days. I've missed you all too! Thanks to all of you overseas who have been visiting the blog and especially thanks to those who leave comments. Having the user interaction is what makes me want to write more often... getting comments and feeback on my thoughts is the fun part.

Kudos to those of you who post! Poo on those who don't! (and you know who you are!... lol.) I have some of the most opininated friends in the world, yet they never post anymore... That's ok, anyone who knows me can tell you I can speak enough for all of us and still have some to spare.

As far as the success of the overseas venture is concerned, I'm not sure of it yet. After meeting with the client's engineers for 10 hours straight and getting to battle out some of the more precise issues involved in the project we are working on, I felt more and more comfortable with the implementation plans we had laid out. My confidence was boosted by their attention to detail and the pointedness of the questions they fired at us.

Basically, I got to sit there and have all the thoughts I've been running through my head for the last 12 months vindicated. I've been approaching this project with a certin kind of foresight that I feel is appropriate for the kind of project we are doing. Others above me have been aproaching it from a purely monetary angle with little consideration for the client's wishes, even when those wishes are explained in detail and delivered in forty-page narratives.

How do I feel about all of it? I'm not sure. I feel that if I were given the leeway to setup this project "my" way, then the client would be more than happy and more than willing to consider our company for the future phases of the project. I really thought the aftermath of this meeting would sway "our" side more to my way of thinking, especially since the client requested things I've been trying to deliver for months and months. However, after the successful conclusion of the meeting, I was pretty much told to ignore everything the client asked for and do what I was told to do originally... So in that respect, I feel really let down. The client was so impressed with what our ideas were that they gave me their card and asked me to call them regarding implementation ideas... they my company turned around and chewed me out, questioned my abilities, attacked my dedication to the project, questioned my lotalty, and then further told me to pretty much shut up and do as I'm told to do, and to forget what the client asked for.

Then they wonder why I lack the motivation lately to improve the project?

Basically, my company tried to promote me back to my old position (no one ever mentioned if I'd get my pay grade brought back up) and then blamed ME for the decisions they made in demoting me a month ago! I actually got told that it was MY fault that things were in the state of affairs that they are in... when I am the one who got demoted and am NOT in charge...? Ok, so when I'm in charge, I get my authority removed and then I get told that mistakes and oversights are my fault, when I have hundreds of emails to the contrary. So, now I'm just a peon in the greater machine that is our team, and somehow I get pulled aside and asked to take charge again... then when I refuse to step in and save the day I get told AGAIN that it's my fault and that my attitude is responsible for everything that has been done incorrectly... what a joke.

Honestly, if given 30 days with my team without my superiors screwing up the project over and over again, I could have this entire thing on track and moving towards a successful conclusion. That, however is not going to happen... I know this. I accept it and I just move on and wait to do as I'm told.. that's my motto at this point.

Well, this wasn't supposed to be a rant about my job, but I guess it turned into that. Sorry for the tirade... there's so much I can NOT say on here (due to much of the information being priveleged) that I can't exactly make my points to you, the blog-o-sphere, anyway so I might as well get on to a new topic. I feel it's ok to rant and rave about my "job" because this is MY blog and that's part of what it's here for, but I can't in any professional manner, start calling out names and companies because that crosses a boundary that would be very close to mutiny and even I would fire me if that were the case... so that's the reason that much of this probably doesn't make sense. Just trust that it made me feel a little better to write it and get it out of my system.

Now, I'm going to play some COH while April heads off to dreamland. See you all soon!

 

Technorati tags: Tommy Jordan , Scooby Central. personal. rants , rambling