Thursday, November 23, 2006

Things I Don't Want For Christmas

 A Cat: You see, here's how it all happened...

You see, the UPS guy showed up a few weeks ago, bearing a special package. You know how I love getting stuff in the mail, so I just opened it. (Not until later did I notice the return address was "Hell"). (Kidding.. she's really sweet.)

So, in a fit of anticipation, I ripped open the box to see what cool new surprise had arrived today. Amazingly, what did I find?

(A "crack in the box"... how thoughtful!)

Wow.. a cat. Ok! How cool is this? Does it require batteries, are they included? Where will I put such a cool gift? Well, the answer to these and other questions were revealed to me in short order.


Where to put it?

On the bookcase of course. It nicely fills in that open spot I had been meaning to fill.

It's even like one of those dolls kids have nowadays.. when you get near it, it opens it's eyes! How neat!

What other uses does this cool new thing have? Well, it didn't take me long to discover it's also good for keeping warm with.

Well now, multipurpose. I always like things that have more than one purpose. Cool, what else?

Oh.. neat. It also serves as a deterrent to keep frolilcsome pets out of my clean laundry!

With the proper practice, it even improves your hand-eye coordination, so it's therapeutic as well!

(Insert three week interlude here)

Well, I've discovered, it doesn't take batteries. However, just because it doesn't "need" them doesn't mean it won't bat them all over the house, which is just as bad on my battery consumption. It does, however, take food, which is ok because it costs less than batteries.

However, this week I discovered a malfunction in it's cuddle programming. When trying to cuddle with the toy, it didn't seem to realize cuddle time was over and chose instead to remain in cuddle mode even after it was quite obvious we were NOT into cuddling any more!

No.. DOWN! Cuddle time is over! Stop it.. Ack!

So, now I know what you're thinking: "How ever did you deal with this?" Simple enough. I found another use for it. It also serves as a clone for a "husband" (see below).

(If you didn't get that joke, you're single aren't you?)


Just thought I'd share some of what life is like with this little critter around!

Happy Thanksgiving.


  1. Does it have a name yet? Face it and name it, it's yours for the long haul. (and, if it does have a name, refer to it by its name and not "it", ok?

  2. I'm glad someone else sees it the way I do! ;)

  3. NO! I'm not officially naming "it" yet. I keep waiting for a REALLY good home for "it"... but I know how I am. It's already sleeping in my bed... ugh.

  4. If it can't really call it a substitution for a husband now can you? If it randomly grabs your boob...then you can call it a "husband".

  5. lol.. true enough! (those "grabs" are never random.. we just want you to think they are.)


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