Personal blog, IT tech tips, woodworking, travel, and anything else we care to share.. it's all on here. Comment if you like a post. It's always a pleasure to know others enjoy reading the blog.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Argh... no really
Argh.
Scooby Central Headquarters
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Sunday, August 27, 2006
**Sniffle....sniffle.....sob....**
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Guess what I did last night......
Monday, August 21, 2006
Dallas is playin' tonight and I can't watch...'cause I'm at WORK AGAIN!!!
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Africa: Day 43
I compose this to you now from the corner office in the apartment at ten minutes to two in the morning on Sunday. As of late, my nightly ritual has been to awaken sometime throughout the night from either headache, toothache, heat, or just plain restlessness. I usually spend ten to fifteen minutes roaming aimlessly throughout out the solemn marble walls, listening to the sounds of the city interspersed with the shuffling sounds my ambling feet make while I lazily meander through the house in search of... something. Either active distraction from slumber, or direct return to it would be sufficient, but neither seems to be readily available here lately.
I'm hungry most all the time at night now. I've dropped from a 205 pound with a 34 inch waist to a 165 pound waif barely sustaining a 30 inch waist. I'm quite sure, somewhere, one of you women is saying how wonderful that would be, but you truly have no idea how miserable it is to lose almost 20 percent of your body mass, and healthy body mass at that. I don't seem to be suffering any visible side effects, aside from the constant hunger, but I can't figure what's causing it. I'm eating as often as possible and when I do dine, it's usually one and a half what the others eat, yet I'm losing weight faster than I fear is healthy. Not to worry though. I'll be home again in a few months and I'll be stocking up. The good side is, I'll never be so happy to see a Thanksgiving turkey or a Christmas ham as I will be this year.
I miss all of you. If my memory serves me right, I haven't told you all that lately, but it remains true nonetheless. I try not to be one to reiterate things that I don't feel bear repeating, but I'm of the impression that most of you are less than perfect mind-readers, so I'll say it again here. I miss my gang of friends, my family, my environment. I've hit the point in this trip where I'm beyond ready for things to come to a close and let me return home to my familiar surroundings, but I fear that time has yet to come. Even now, one of my crew returns home tonight to his family while four more make preparations to return here to join me in the coming weeks. After their arrival I'm expecting another three to four weeks of hard work before I can even begin to attempt to make plans to come home. This time however, I plan to be home for awhile. I make a decent salary, but not enough, not NEARLY enough, to compensate for the amount of time I've been asked to spend away from my life. Having experienced this first hand, I can assure you, that there is NO monetary value that would make me volunteer to be away from you all this long again.
I'm not sure what else to say. I find that the more I write lately, the more I delve deeper into this morose and somber frame of mind. It's hard to be exuberant when everything you want to be surrounded by is five thousand miles away. With that in mind, I think I'll head back to bed and stare at the ceiling some more. Maybe my audiobook will help me get some sleep. I'll talk to you all again soon.
Until then.
Africa: Day 41
Hello again world. It's another day in paradise for the Scooby team. It's currently 1:54 in the afternoon on Friday, which is one of our two days off here from work. It's been a really great week this week. Frustrations and stress levels ran high all week but in the end our progress outpaced my expectations for the week's success, so I'm quite happy today.
I've been watching the weather there back in the states and it seems you guys have been having quite the heat wave lately. It came to my attention yesterday when we were discussing the weather here. Apparently the heat here lately is not indicative of the norm for this area. Yesterday was supposed to be the end of our heat wave, or so I was told, but today dawned in no less than solar brilliance, once again breaking100 degrees before 9 AM in the morning. The high for this week that I've personally seen was around 125 degrees at noon, but I'm not sure what the actual record high was for the week. Speaking with Mom last week I learned that the world's hottest "recorded" temperature was 136 degrees, recorded 30 years ago, and guess where? Yup, right here in Tripoli Libya.
Hopefully, this wave of unending heat will dwindle by the middle of this coming week so we can pick up our work production. Our guys are having a little bit of a tough time with it, but the locals are much worse. Trying to get them to go take us to a work site when it's over 100 degrees outside is nigh impossible.
Well, since I have a few minutes to kill here, finally, I thought I'd take some time and catch you up on what's going on with us here in Tripoli. I've spent less and less time taking pictures lately, primarily because less and less seems to jump out at me. Familiarity with the surroundings, understanding of local customs, and learning the city have bred a sense of contentment in me, so fewer things strike my attention any more. I'm on day 41 of this trip, which means I've been here six weeks so far. If you couple that with the 12 weeks I was here earlier, then I've spent 4 and a half months in this country this year. At this point, we are only seven and a half months into the year. Spending over half the year here has pretty much made me learn to "live" here pretty comfortably.
This isn't to say there aren't issues to contend with. Diet has been a major problem here. On the PRO side of the list, the foods here, especially the fruits and vegetables, are not full of chemicals, pesticides, hormone treatments and all those other things that foods in the US are riddled with. On the CON side, they also aren't vitamin enriched, refrigerated, properly cleaned, regulated, or anything else. Eggs here that are great one morning will make you spend four hours being sick the next morning. We've all learned to live with a permanent sense of stomach cramps and digestive problems, due to sheer lack of time and money in which to properly deal with the issues.
I'm not complaining overtly, because I know I signed on for this tour, but no one planned for us to be here this long amount of time when our plans were first laid down for the project. Those in control of the finances and project outlines assume these tasks can all be accomplished in two to three months and I'm constantly telling them that it's going to take closer to one year, if not more, just to implement the physical side of the project.
The main problem this causes is a monetary issue. We're all making an adequate per-diem rate, though it's much less than the last time we were here. However, we're all also living like residents here. This means we wash all our own clothes, cook all our own meals, shop for our food, replace our appliances when they break down, etc. These things take time, not to mention money. Our team works about a ten hour day every day. After they are done, Gregg and I work about 3 to 4 hours more most nights. After pulling a 14 hour day, the mere idea of spending two hours to cook dinner for five people, spend one hour cleaning it all back up and washing the dishes, spending 30 minutes packing our gear and laptops back up for the next day at work, and then MAYBE trying to spend one hour trying to unwind, puts me pulling about 19 waking hours per day.
In contrast, the idea of staying in a hotel where my clothes are washed for us, food is prepared for us, cleanup is handled by others, paints a much more pleasant picture. My upper-management however, seems not to agree with that philosophy. However, he doesn't usually stay here with us, cook his own meals, and wash his own clothes. I'll just stop there on that train of thought. I'm sure you get the idea.
Ok. I think I'm gonna bring this post to a close. I just spent twenty minutes writing three more paragraphs and then I realized all I was doing was complaining about my money problems, so I deleted them. However, the subject is a sore one with me at this point, and it has adversely affected my mood. (Like that? That's my politically correct way of saying that I'm Pissed Off about our per-diem.) So, considering my less-than-shining mood at the moment, I think it best for me just to come back and write when I'm in a less combative frame of mind.
Peace be with you all until next time we meet.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Africa: Day 40 (Now me and Noah have something in common)
Greetings world. It's 1:23 PM here on August the 17th and I'm sitting in my office with Gregg waiting on an appointment that's currently 23.. nope, make that 24 minutes late. I figured I had a moment to write to you all while I was waiting. I'd like to take a moment to thank those of you who have been posting. I haven't had the opportunity to comment, but I've been reading them all. Collectively there are about 100 of us here in this building sharing an internet connection that's passing traffic at half the speed of smell... SLOW. That has made it all but impossible to upload any pictures, big emails, or anything else lately. I'm hoping they'll locate the problem and fix it within the next few days.
On the other side of things, we have achieved two major accomplishments this week. I installed my first DSL installation. Basically, its like installing a miniature Sprint Phone company in a building and then installing all the DSL modems in the client buildings that will allow them to join the network. Now, I successfully have microwave, E-1, T-1, DSLAM, DSL, dial-up, and fiber optic locations all talking on the same network. It's definitely been an amazing experience. I'd love to be able to share some of the details with those of you who understand the technology a little, but for the sake of client confidentiality, I'd best keep it as general as possible up here. I don't want my CEO getting upset because I revealed customer technologies to the outside world.... oooooohhh... *insert scary sound here*.
The sad thing is, I have half a nation communicating and i can't even get my OWN DSL working in my apartment. We've been waiting for DSL now for almost four months! What a load of crap that is huh? And of course, no one is any help. All the english speaking people we deal with forget that we don't speak arabic. I had someone give me the internet settings a few days ago... the instructions are all in arabic! Ugh.
We are getting ready to change up the team a little here in the coming days. Tom and Gregg are leaving tomorrow. Tom is going home to the US and Gregg is going to London for three days to see a Rolling Stones concert. The remainder of the team will be joining us on the 27th if plans don't change *again* and then Tim will be leaving for home on the 7th of September to prepare for his wedding on October 21st, so I'll be without my head lan engineer for about two months. That's really gonna suck!
I know you all are wondering when we're coming home, but as of this date I don't know. You all know me and know how I am. Considering that it takes six weeks to get things processed to return here again, I'm hesitant to fly home and then get stuck there. It's late enough in the year that any major changes to my flight schedule could realistically have me here at Christmas. There's NO WAY I'm going to be here for Christmas this year, so my plan is to be the "go to guy" and stay here until every last thing we need to deal with is done. I'm tired. My diet is crap. I've lost 30 pounds since I got here, which is KILLING me. I'm eating every chance I get but it takes forever to get food here. Dinner out means waiting two hours for anything. Cooking in means I only have 4 stove burners, 1 pan, and 2 pots with which to whip up a meal that serves 5, not to mention that spices are non-existent here. Let me rephrase.... Spices that are easily identifiable are non-existent here. We've all run the gamut of diaharrhea, puking, cramps, fatigue, exhaustion, and every other thing imaginable. It's actually funny when you think about it. These guys act like a military barracks; when one gets sick the other four show up with whatever remedies they have on hand.. Pepto, Prep-H, Advil, Excedrin, Vodka... oops.. did I say that?
Well, the people are here for the meeting I was supposed to have, so I'll need to cut this short. I'll chat with you all soon.
Tommy
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Back in USA...missing my Eastern Euro buddies.
Hey y'all! :P
Africa Day 35 / Marisa Married Day 1 (Wish I Was There)
Let me first begin this by properly making consideration for she to whom this day should properly belong: Marisa. I proudly raise my glass as I sit here tonight to Marisa, Agent M, Brown, and to the wonderful womann who has shared so many other monikers in my company throughout the years. Marisa, I was flattered, indeed honored, to be invited to be in your wedding and I wish more than anything else in the world that I could have been there to share what was I'm sure a wonderful day with you. The truth is, it's 8:20 PM here, so it's only two in the afternoon there where you are, so I guess at this point, you're still not married yet. However, by the time you read this, you will undoubtedly be sharing the world with your beloved as Mrs. Marisa Dawson. (Coincidentally, this inspires me to yet another moniker; (M)arisa (D)awson = MD = "Mad Dog Dawson") Of course, I'm sure this appeals not to the family lifestyle you are aspiring to, so I shall keep this one to myself and bring it out only on rare private occasion, just to get that "M" look from you and hurriedly put it back into my book of little colloquialisms until another day.
I hope today finds you happy, Darling. I hope you have everything in your marraige that you yearn for. I long to be there with you, for you know I would gladly raise a toast in your honor. However, it would probbably start something like "I'd like to offer a t-t-t... *Clear Throat*.. a t-t-t.. A SALUTE to you... etc." All things considered, maybe you're better off with me here instead of there. Regardless, I want you to know that I will always be here for you, here for your family, and always at your call if you require it. I know you have a great man now who will take care of you, but I hope you will let me have the occasional battle to fight, just for old times' sake. I wish you and Chris the best of love and of life. I wish you the happiest moments together and even moreso I hope that you're together for all of the hardest ones too, for those moments are the ones that will yield even more strength to your love for each other. Both happy and sad moments are part of life and you've always pulled through all of them with equal aplomb, although your aplomd traditionally takes a backseat to your dramatic representations sometimes *laughs*. I'll never forget those.
In return for all the happiness a woman should have, I would only ask that you not forget those of us who will miss you. I know you're not "going" anywhere any time soon and that you're not leaving town, but I ask you to remember that we all want to be a part of your life and to be as much a part of your family as your life permits. I know I speak for all of us in the "Scoobs" when I say "We love you, we're happy for you, and we wish you the most wonderful life possible!"
Secondly, I'd like to take a moment to let all of you in on a few updates. The primary update I have to offer is that we now have communications at home. For those of you who would like to, you can reach us at the following phone number:
This is our home phone number. Please remember that there are others that live here as well as April and Myself so you are liable to have someone else answer when you call. Additionally, we are 6 hours ahead of you, in case you haven't heard that a hundred times by now, but you can reach us any time as long as we're not at work. The easiest times to reach us are about 8 to 11 PM our time, so that's about 2 until 6 PM your time.
I'm hoping that we'll have internet at this location within the next week or so, but I'll update more as I know what's going on.
Love you all!
Africa: Day 33
I found myself unable to come up with a proper topic for today's post, so you may just have to bear with me as I plod along. Hey, where are you going? Stop! I didn't say it would be boring, well not THAT boring anyway. Hey...! *Shrugs to self*
I've been checking the logs out lately, seeing where our collective traffic is coming from. It's nice to see that we're getting traffic from all over the world now. Since blogspot is owned by google, the contents of these blogs are spidered daily by Google search engines, which means all the cultural posts that have been made lately have increased traffic from people outsite the regular viewers. So to those of you who are seeing this for the first time and who have taken a moment from your busy days, I'd like to say: "Saben el-Khier!" (That's good morning if you're interested.) Interestingly enough, I'm also seeing traffic from my old company web site, so Hi Computer Techs! Glad to see I'm still a source of interest... Lol
Well, if you're like most today, you're liable to be wondering what's happening with this airline bombing conspiracy. I'll tell you the unabashed nuts and bolts of the matter as best I can without too much embellishment. To make a long and convoluted story somewhat shorter, here's what's happened at this point;
British Intelligence, MI5, has been conducting an undercover investigation into a terrorist group of primarily british-born individuals who are bent on blowing up a bunch of innocent people. What many of the networks did NOT say, and I was only able to find this out by scouring MI5, CIA, CNN, BBC and almost every OTHER network I could locate, was that the suspects are all British at this point. This means that most of the anti-islamic sentiment that will assuredly arise from the USA is going to be targeted to the wrong people. It wasnt the arabs, so calm down and let's not start burning gas stations.
In response to this, british intelligence surrounded and captured a number of the terrorists that were getting ready to attempt to board planes today. Does this mean they are guilty of ALMOST letting it happen? (This is where my opinion enters, not fact) No. Most likely, they were trying to watch and determine how far this network reaches and only stepped in when they did to stop an obvious terrorist threat. To do so before now would only have blown the cover of the investigation and likely would have sent the group further underground where they would have been much harder to catch. (end of my opinions)
So, what has happened? Well, for right now, international travel is a complete mess, especially going in and out of London and the rest of Europe. You have to understand, the last time this happened to them was in 1983 when two Libyans destroyed American Pan Am Flight 103, so this hasn't happened to europe in 23 years. They are on COMPLETE lockdown. Further, as far as I can tell ALL airports in both Europe and the USA have upgraded their flight restrictions to state that NO electronics can be carried on in the plane's passenger compartments, no liquids, no iPods, no remote control key chains, NOTHING that could contain any chemical or electronic agents that could be used to bring down an aircraft. This too, happened back in 1983 when the Pan Am flight was destroyed. The last time this restriction was put into place, it only lasted one month until the governments were completely sure that they had alleviated the threat. This time, I have no projection, nor do the networks, as to when this stringent restriction will be lifted. For now, the only thing allowed into the passenger compartments of most airline planes are your wallet, passport, tickets, prescription drugs, and any child or feminine related materials. They're even going so far as to say that all mothers carrying formulas for babies must taste the formula in front of an airline officer to make sure it's not toxic or chemically dangerous.
So, how does this affect our team and our staffing? Well, basically it really doesn't affect us except for convenience. We can still carry everything we could before, but it's got to be carried in the cargo hold of the plane, not in the passenger compartment. Anything you carry on your person must be carried in a transparent plastic bag and stay with you in your seat. So, aside from the additional cost of putting two more bags in the cargo hold, there will really be no impediment to our traveling. Of course, that costs about $150.00 US per bag, but that's unavoidable at this point. Further, the preparation time has been dramatically increased. Basically, our guys can plan to spend HOURS waiting to get in line at the air ports. All of this however is just part of what traveling entails. It's no worse or better than anything else that happens in the world on a daily basis.
Other than those issues, nothing much has been accomplished this week. I've spent most of my week dealing with beauracratic red-tape, wading through political mire, offending local inhabitants (yeah, THAT was a big oops.) and otherwise attempting some semblance of forward momentum when every other person I meet seems content to move like molasses when moving forward at all and more often than not they seem just as conten to actually get further behind. Anyway, I've made an attempt these last 24 hours to try to reclaim my former-self a little and put my temper at bay.
...I had to end this post early due to an impromptu meeting with the client and one of our representatives... So I'll just begin a new post later.
Y'all won't believe this...
Thursday, August 10, 2006
London and CNN News Break
Ok. I'm quite sure that some of you are also the type of individuals who make efforts to track world events outside your own back yard, so I thought I'd make a pre-emptive post before anyone freaks out on the blog.
In case you aren't aware, I am posting the information from the CNN site below.
LONDON, England (CNN) -- British police say they have disrupted an apparent plot to blow up planes in mid-flight, prompting authorities to raise the nation's threat level to "critical."
The highest possible alert level, raised on Thursday by the British Home Office, means "an attack is expected imminently," and authorities have said no hand luggage would be allowed onto planes from UK airports. (Full story)
Major delays are expected at key airports around the world, with Brussels Airport in Belgium among the first to cancel flights to the UK, news agencies reported. London's Heathrow airport was closed to most European flights Thursday morning following a heightened terrorist alert, officials said in a report from The Associated Press. London's Metropolitan Police said a months-long intelligence operation by the anti-terrorist branch and security service resulted in several arrests overnight, according to a Scotland Yard news release. The aim of the alleged plot was to explode devices carried aboard planes in handheld luggage -- especially on flights from Britain to the United States, according to Scotland Yard. "This is a major operation which inevitably will be lengthy and complex," Scotland Yard said in a statement. Britain's Home Secretary John Reid called the alleged plot significant and said it was designed to "bring down a number of aircraft through mid-flight explosions, causing a considerable loss of life." "We are doing everything possible to disrupt any further terrorist activity. This will mean major disruption at all UK airports," Reid said, adding the move to raise the alert level was "precautionary." Hand luggage will not be allowed into the cabin of a plane and passengers will only be allowed to take a wallet, travel documents and other essential items in a plastic bag. "All passengers must be hand searched, and their footwear and all the items they are carrying must be X-ray screened," a BAA statement added. (Full story) Across the Atlantic, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security raised its alert threat to the highest level of "severe," or red, for commercial flights originating in the United Kingdom and bound for America. Meanwhile, the threat level has been raised to "high," or orange for all commercial flights operating in or coming to the United States, a DHS statement said. "Due to the nature of the threat revealed by this investigation, we are prohibiting any liquids, including beverages, hair gels, and lotions from being carried on the airplane," the statement said. Investors were quick to dump airline shares when markets opened on Thursday, with British Airways falling 3.5 percent and Ryanair skidding 3 percent. The alleged terror plot comes more than five years after Briton Richard Reid attempted to detonate explosives hidden in his sneakers on an American Airlines flight from Paris to Miami in December 2001, only a few months after the September 11, 2001 attacks in New York and Washington. Passengers thwarted his plan, and the plane landed safely in Boston. Reid pleaded guilty to terrorism charges in October 2002 and is serving a life sentence at the nation's super-maximum security prison in Florence, Colorado. In Washington, FBI Special Agent Richard Kolko said the agency is aware of the "ongoing situation in London" and will issue a statement later. [Link]
So, now that you've heard about it, how does it affect us? Well, not too much actually. The only big deal that's going to cause trouble for our team is the fact that I have a team flying over in the next week and now it's going to be REALLY tough to get them here with all their gear. As a precautionary measure, LHR (London Heathrow Airport) is on Uber-crackdown and isn't letting ANYTHING on board their planes at this point. Basically, no tools, no liquids in containers, no solvents, no high-tech equipment, etc.
None of us, with the exception of Tom Hadry, were planning on flying home anytime soon anyway, and by the time we get in the air again, this incident will be long past. Tom was going to fly home to spend some time with his baby on his birthday, but that might be a problem. Gregg was going to fly to London for a vacation for 3 days, and I can pretty much bet those plans are nerfed at this point, but ALL of us are fine over here and in no danger. No one's throwing bombs at us, threatening to blow us up, or causing any other problems for us.
I'm not sure what we'll do for travel arrangements to come home at this point. It seems that LRH is going to be impassable for a team like us for quite awhile because of all the gear we carry, but we'll most likey be ok on Alitalia Airlines, since they depart to the USA via Milan, Italy rather than London. I'll update you as I know more. I just don't want anyone's friends, parents, loved ones, etc freaking out about us over here.
Hope you're all doing well. I'll do some more research on the issue and post more later as the news reaches me. The advantage to getting news on the Internet from this location is that we usually get directed to the European news sites, which are much less "flavored" than the American news and usually contain much less propoganda. Updates will follow.
Love you all.
Tommy
Message from a lost Scoob... 'Cause Tommy told me too!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Whoo Hoo to this weekend!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Pics from Benghazi, Libya from July 19, 2006
Well, it turns out that I have a minute at the end of the day that I can spend catching you up a little on our exploits. I'm going to finally upload the remaining photos I've been trying to remember to get to for a few weeks now. The first night we went to Benghazi I took a few pictures. It's a beautiful place; very reminiscent of what I think most American metro areas are like at night.
The city is beautiful at night. The vantage point I'm shooting this from is the 5th floor of Hotel Uzu, looking out across the man-made lake. One of the major improvements they have made to the local geography is the addition of a 4.7 Billion dollar man made river.
I'm not quite sure HOW the water is cleaned, but this is supposed to be the cleanest water in the country. So much so, that there is a brand of local water called "Man Made River" water. They're not much for creativity and branding yet apparently. Capitalism hasn't fully caught on here yet in some areas and I would definitely NOT suggest this as a locale for new businesses hoping to expand into marketing!
This last shot was just neat to see. That's not a trick of the camera. The night sky here is a burnt amber color.. And the moon is a pale cream hanging in the night sky. It's a really beautiful place to see.
I think I'll be going back again soon, so I'll get more local scenery the next time.
Pundit Puns
In response to my comment to Jonathan about Africa being a god forsaken country, I was rewarded with this little tid-bit.
"God hasn't forsaken it... He's just staying out of the sun!"
I love it.
I've been meaning to try to write more lately, but the days get longer and the nights get longer, and my time in which to do things seems to shrink in direct double-proportion to the amount of work asked of me. I'll get back to you soon with "real" content.
Yet another funny
Yes, you all know I hate to start the trend of once more flooding the blog with superfluous inane material, but this one was sent by Fridget last week and it made my day, so I thought I'd share it here with you.
Subject: Drugs
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Tee-hee from me...
Monday, August 07, 2006
Cowboys and Congressmen (Yes, I posted a joke... sue me)
I just thought this one was cute, so I'm posting it. This reminds me VERY much of what it's like trying to work over here. I needed the laugh. Hope you enjoy.
A Wyoming cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud Towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
You're a Congressman," says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows....
Now give me back my dog!!
(ba dum dum bum)
Africa: Day 30 (Shisha!)
Ok.. I did it.. I bought a Shisha pipe. Gregg didn't leave the porch for about 4 days. I don't even think he got dressed for two days...
The Steely Eyes of Tom (aka "The Hitman", "Space Ghost,"
Ok.. I just couldn't resist...
This is for Tom and his wife.... Apparently my "steely eyes" reference caught his attention. Here ya go, Tom.
I really wanna caption this "Whacha talkin' 'bout Willis-Kareem-Mohamed-Al-Shufta-Ali?"
Thursday, August 03, 2006
I hate spam comment!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Africa: Day 24 (Just a quick note)
Well this is just a quick note to update you on some pictures while we wait to go home for the day. A few of the team have been out in the field all day and need some time to check their email and stuff, so I thought I'd make good use of the time.
These are the photos of our apartment in Tripoli.