OMGIGP – Do you suffer from this?

Ok, I’m not a fan of Internet Explorer, much less the new horribly unreliable Internet Explorer 8.. *shudders* but I had to share this!

But really… are they so bad off that they have to IMPROVE their standing by resorting to vomit? I mean how bad to you have to be before vomiting is better than what you had before? Hey.. we suck so bad that if we put puke in our ad, and hire spiffy-boy, we can actually increase our downloads!

Can you see the advertising department with this one on their desks? “Ok we need to take back the market from Google and Mozilla and we’re losing.. what haven’t we tried yet? I got it. PUKE! Let’s have this chick vomit all over the place and then talk about how we are better than vomit! I mean, we gotta be better than something right? Vomit is good. We’re better than vomit, right?”

Technorati Tags: Microsoft,Internet Explorer,8,vomit,OMGIGP,o.n.g.i.g.p.,marketing,sales,browser,chrome,google,youtube,mozilla,firefox,puke

(wow.. I laughed just putting the tech-tags in this post)

Questions that haunt me:

Ok, these are a few that came in email that I had to share. They made me laugh this morning. I hope you will too.

 

• If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?  Where's that extra penny going to?
• Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
• Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the  ground?
• Why do doctors leave the room while you change?  They're going to see you naked anyway.
• Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties'  plural?
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why  is there a stupid song about him?
• If the professor on Gilligan's Island can  make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?  They're both dogs!
• If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
• If corn oil is made from corn, and  vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does  morality come from morons?
• Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle  Little Star have the same tune?
• Why did you just try singing the two  songs above?
• Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
• Did you ever notice that when you blow in  a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he  sticks his head out the window?
• Why do we  press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
• Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
  Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Whose idea was  it to put an “S” in the word 'lisp'?
• If people  evolved from apes, why are there  still apes?
• Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
• Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
• How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
• When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt , why don't you watch where you're going?'
• Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
• In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
• How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

 

Technorati Tags: Jokes,humor,funny,satire,comedy,laugh,blog,scooby central

Scooby Dooby-Cue!

(June 16th: HOTEL UPDATE  - See Bottom of Post)
(June 18th: Guest/Food Update  - See Bottom of Post)
(June 22nd: Guest/Food Update  - See Bottom of Post)
(June 30th: Guest/Food Update  - See Bottom of Post)

Yes, it’s that time of year again and I’ve been very remiss in my duties to get this blog post written and posted before now. I’m forcing myself to take the time now because it’s got to get done if I hope to have a half-decent turnout this year. So, what’s the hubbub? Whaddya think?  It’s the annual Scooby “Hey Mama, No Drama, Pig-Slayin’, Birthdayin’, Drink-Drinkin’, Canoe sinkin’, Barbecue Event”

Everyone is invited! Come one come all, come short, come tall, just come! This is my once-a-year non-related family reunion where all my friends, their families, and as many newcomers as we can get can gather together for one day of the summer to hang out, eat good food, and have a good time. It always winds up being a birthday party for at least two people. This year’s official party people are Mom and Amy. (No, you don’t have to bring gifts. Showing up is all we’re asking.. though I’m sure the party girls won’t turn them down if you do! lol)

 

Bashes from the Past:

If you’d like to experience a recap of years past and see what it’s all about, check out these links:

2008

• The main event

2007

• Birthday Party Planning
• Birthday Bash Post-event Write-up
• After the Race
• The Rest of The Story

 

 

Here’s the details for the 2009 event:

Event Details:

When:

Pre-Event Hangout: Friday Night July 3rd for any guys or gals who just want to get out of town and hang out while we prep for the big event.

Main Event: Saturday July 4th,  2009 starting at 11AM until…  We will be making a group trip over to Manteo in the evening to watch the 4th of July fireworks, so you are welcome to stay all day and into the night!

 

 

Where:

Mom’s house in Manns Harbor North Carolina. You can visit any of the posts from previous years to see what we’re gonna do but it’s a half acre of grassy lawn right on the water. We’ll have the volleyball net up and things for the kids to do and we’ll have the tents and pavillions up so the adults can get outta the sun. There will be canoes and stuff to do in the water for kids of all ages, plenty of space to sit back and relax, a good crowd of friends and family, and more. I don’t know how much more yet, but I’ll post it as I come up with the plans.

 

What are the Rules?

 

To keep this a fun event for all involved we kind of separate the day into two parts. Anyone wanting to do some serious drinking is welcome to do so before Saturday morning, and on Saturday night. Since we try to keep this a family-style affair, I do ask that you keep your wits about you during the main event on Saturday.

Drinking is perfectly fine, just be level headed and don't get obnoxious. From about 11 AM until 6 PM on Saturday is likely to be filled with family, some younger children, etc and I want them to have a good time too and feel like they can bring their families the next year. In all the years we've been doing this, we've never had anyone get out of hand but I feel better if I say it up-front. Anyone that gets obnoxious gets ejected from the event via slip-n-slide!

Pets: Lots of us have pets and mom has a big yard, so a reasonable amount of pets are acceptable. If you want to bring your dogs, just be aware that when the food is served they will need to be staked, or roped up in the back yard so as not to cause a mess while we're trying to eat. Other than that they can be loose all day as long as they’re behaved.

Other than that, just don't trash my  mom’s yard.  Clean up behind yourself, keep the cigarette butts and trash off the grass and put where it belongs, and don’t break anything you can’t afford to repair. That’s about it. lol.

What do I need to Bring:

 

I'm just going to come out and say it this year. Bring either food, or cash, but be sure you’re on the list for one of those mentioned. If you’re NOT on the list for something, bring cash!  Supplies are great and welcomed, but food for 40 or 50 is expensive. We’re not asking for anything outrageous. Donations of ten dollars per adult should cover it for those who aren’t bringing food items and you’d spend that at Wendy’s anyway! Last year was an absolute blast, but it was a lot of expense on the shoulders of a few. This year I’d like it to be a little more fair for everyone involved. If you want to give more, by all means do.

I'm going to provide the pig and the cooker (thanks to Jody Griffin each year for the use of his cooker!) The rest of you will be asked to fill out one or more of the items from the menu or to bring a cash donation to help those out who contributed.  Done right, this can be a WHOLE lot of fun for really little expense.

The menu and requested items are listed below. I'll update this as we go, so check back often.

If you would like to contribute something from the menu, please leave a comment on this post and I'll update the menu with your preference. (The menu items are first come first serve, so make your plans now if you want to bring a dish or something from the list.)

 

Requested Menu Items:

The following items are what we’re planning on having. You’ll notice that beer is BYOB, but otherwise we’d like people to pick something from the list below. If you have some awesome recipe for something you’d like to add, email me and let me know and I’ll be sure we have room for it. We’re always up for new cool stuff, but we had WAY more food last year than any 40 people could eat in a week, so we want to be careful about that this year.

 

Item	Quantity Needed	Person Responsible
100 Lb Pig	1	Tommy
Yellow Corn (in the husk)
Potato Salad	1 (Big)	Chris Comeau
Hush Puppies	1	Amy Jean
Baked Beans	1	Lori Smith
Deviled Eggs	2	Mom
Bags of Chips & Dip	2
Bags of Chips & Dip	2
Ice	40-60 lbs
Pasta Salad	2
Veggie Tray w/dressing	2
BBQ Bread	3	Tommy
Bread & Rolls	TBD
Cole Slaw	1
Banana Pudding	1	Michelle (Via Hannah)?
Honeydew/Cantaloupe	2	Mom
Watermelon	2
Hot Dogs & Rolls	2 packs
Brownies	1	Mom
Blueberry Crunch	1	Amy Jean
Macaroni & Cheese	1	Lori Smith
Green Beans	1	Lori Smith
12 PK Sodas (Mixed)	3	Zack Harrell
12 PK Sodas (Mixed)	3
12 PK Diet Sodas (Mixed)	2
I forget something???	Email me…

Supplies Needed:

I’m breaking the supplies out separate this year because I don’t have Raymond to help me out like I usually do with the physical setup of some of this stuff. So, if anyone wants to volunteer some stuff, I’d love the assistance.

 

Item	Quantity Needed	Person Responsible
Pig Cooker	1	Tommy/Timmy Midgett
Buffet Tables	3 or 4	Mom (Maybe)
Chairs
Coolers	4
Pavillion / Tent	1	Tim
Pavillion / Tent	1	Mom
Canoes	3/4	Tommy/Melvin
Paper Plates, etc		Mom
Boat for Skiing? etc…	Any will do nicely!	Ivy, Reese?

Who’s Attending?

Now comes the hard part.. the guest list. I’m going to put this out there with the same caveat that I always do. I’m GOING to forget someone… I always do. PLEASE don’t be offended… just email me and remind me and say ‘HEY! I wanna come” and I’ll put your name down. I’m putting the invite to a few through different networks this year so their names won’t appear unless they respond from Facebook or whatever, so please just let me know if you think I forgot anyone. Mainly I NEED a head count as soon as possible so I know how much pig to get and how many hotel rooms to try to get if we need to get some.

I’m going to use the same list format I did last year because that made it pretty easy to keep track of everyone.

BOLD RED = Confirmed
Plain Black = Listed but hasn’t responded yet.
Green = Can’t make it.

# of People	Name	Notes
1	Mom (Brenda Outlaw)
2	Tommy & Amy
2	Josh, Hannah	(Kids)
1	Janet
2	Sylvia & John
2	Michelle & Shawn and family	(with kids?)
1	Patricia Bush
2	Allen & Jarrett
3	Doc & Bridget Holliday	(with Lucas?)
1	Priscilla Holliday
2	Mark and Marion Waters
1	Wess Ellingson
2	Chris Comeau & Guest
2	Tim and Clair Pendergrass
1	Joe Torrance
3	Lori Smith
2	Katie Evans & Lynda
2	Reese & Debbi
4	Jodi, Wife, and kids
3	Nicole and Lee
4	Bill and Scarlette and family
1	Tom Robbins
2	Amanda & Josh
2	Lauren and Chris
2	Zack & Betty
2	Patrick & Amy
2	Jeff & Gail Boyd
2	Eddie Burkett & Guest

Extra Information:

Due to the new laws on the beach we can’t do night driving like we used to, so I’m trying to decide what would be the most fun for an evening event. We’ve got the fireworks that night in Manteo, and anyone who wants to hang out on the docks at my house can watch fireworks from 5 towns all from one spot without leaving the yard. We have the option for a late night bonfire in the back yard, but I’m trying to decide if that’s going to be fun in the middle of July or not… thoughts on the matter?

If enough people want to stay over until Sunday we’ll probably do something on Sunday but I’m playing it by ear at this point. Anyone who would like to stay down on the beach and needs a room can get one, but I need to know WELL in advance so I can ask the hotel. Mom gets us a great rate at the Duke of Dare in manteo each year, but since it’s july 4th, I’m not sure about the availability. I’m also going to be checking with George and Judy to see if we can get the house next door. If it’s not rented then we’ll have rooms there available also. I’ll post more details as I know more but just let me know if you are looking to stay overnight and want me to help get your accommodations settled.

That’s all for now. I’ve got the menu, the supplies, and the guest list. That’s not too bad for one day’s work. Now I’m off to go email all one-hundred of you guys.

JUNE 16, 2009 - HOTEL UPDATE

Mom has talked to the hotel (Which shall remain nameless because they’re giving us a really good rate). If you need hotel accommodations, please let me know and I’ll get you the name of the hotel.

Anyway, the rates are as follows:

• No Pets
• Single Queen Bed Room - $58.30 per night.
• Double Queen Beds Room - $77.50 per night.

I need a confirmed head count NO LATER THAN SATURDAY the 20th. Mom can make the reservations on the 21st for us and you won’t have to pay until you get there. Since this is July 4th, we’re lucky to get rooms at all, but these guys love Mom, so we’re getting taken care of pretty well.  Please don’t hesitate to call or email me with questions about the hotel any time between now and Saturday.

 

JUNE 18, 2009 – Guest List/Food

Thanks for the updates guys. I’ve heard back from quite a few of you so far. Just as a FYI, be sure to watch the menu for updates. I’ve heard back from a few of you who are bringing/cooking stuff so I’m updating the menu as I go. I’ve got the cooker secured, the pig ordered, and now I’m down to confirming the guest list and the entertainment. I’ve got canoes and stuff and I already setup the volleyball net for the year again, so that’s handled. Now I’m down to other fun stuff to do. Anyone got any fun stuff they wanna bring down? Yard sports, water sport stuff, etc. All ideas are welcome!

Back to work!

 

JUNE 22, 2009 – Guest List/Food Update

I just had some more updates to the menu and the guest list to make. Remember, today is the LAST day to let me know who needs hotels and for what nights.

 

JUNE 30, 2009 – Guest List/Food Update

Seems like things are coming together quite well. I’ve updated the food and guest list accordingly. Notice we lost someone to bring veggie trays, so those are open to whomever wants to handle it. We still need the menu filled out a little more completely if anyone feels particularly helpful.

Photos: Josh’s Graduation

   Amy sent me these and gave me permission to share them, so I thought I’d post here for the family and friends who wanted to see. These are the photos from Joshua’s graduation ceremony on Friday.

Click here to see the full album on Flickr.

… time.

 

… all my life I think she’s been in my mind, hidden away in the deepest crevasses of my spirit. From time to time I would remember her, in those moments between heartbeats, between love, and between breathing. She would appear as an image, like a reflection in a mirror where no mirror could be. In splash of light on light, her face shown only to my inner-mind, she was visible yet invisible to thoughts, yet ever-present. Her presence in my life is like a strong wind, carrying with it the promise of greener days, the cold fury of storms, the moist heat of summer rain, the smell of honey-suckle so close you can taste it but yet can’t hold the scent of it. Her touch against my face is the passionate strength of love, the tender embrace of forgiveness, the promise of a baby's tiny, grasping, uncertain probes.

 

   I’ve looked into her eyes in my own mirror, reflected in the dreams I have for myself, behind my shoulder floating somewhere above me watching down with an intense scrutiny and yet with compassion. There was a time when hers were the first lips mine ever parted, the first heartbeat I ever felt beat with passion against my trembling touch, eyes that ever pierced me like javelins sent from the heavens to crack my heart asunder. There were other times, time apart counted in years and in loves and relationships, counted in joys and sorrows, marked again and again with successes and failures of great import and small insignificant consequence. There is yet another time, now, where hers might be the last lips I ever part, the last fires I may ever ignite in another’s eyes.

 

   There was love in the beginning, a love that learned , educated itself; how to feel, how to experience itself and to appreciate itself. Time and years were the lush sunlight, the mountains and hills, where love blossomed like a flower across the land, blooming and dying in its course as all things in nature are to do. This cycle allowed it to flourish farther, wider; to spread its roots deep in places and to falter in the rocky soil of others, moving in a way no one could ever have known. Time brought it back to a new place, to the place where everything was just right, where time was right, love was right, and two people were aligned in such a manner as to make it possible to bloom again.

 

   This isn’t the bloom of Eden, the perfect unblemished ripening of a perfect world and perfect humanity. This love is blessed with a Darwinian heritage, educated in the highest halls of the heavens of the heart and punished in the deepest bowels of hellish despair, seasoned through tribulation and hardship, blessed by occasional reprieve, tempered by tender compassion experienced over the generations of its’ existence, and wise to the ways of self, ego, and ignorant misfortune that plagued its antecedents. It has the heredity to survive, the strength to reach the sun through obscurity and doubt , and the vitality to hold strong its’ roots in the midst of turmoil, storm, and weather.

 

   There is yet another time, a time unwritten and a story yet to be told. I plan to start now…

 

   It’s not often I have reflective moments, but this is one of them. She is special to me.