Where do I get these from???

Fourth Place : A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbowgoesinto her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to herandsays, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'llforgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'min room 221." Third Place : One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbinghiswife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh. "Thehusband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back overandtapshis wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" Runner Up: Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for anumberof years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he hadaterrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickleslicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talkabout it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed toovercomethecompulsion on his own.One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and hiswife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. What'swrong,Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had thistremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed. Yes, I did." he replied.My God, Bill, what happened?""I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickleslicer?"Oh...she got fired too." Winner: A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at thebreakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fiftyyearsago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know,"the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybirdfiftyyears ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "Youknow,honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are ashot foryoutoday as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised,"repliedGramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."