It’s almost 9 AM this first new day of 2010. I sit here at the keyboard with my coffee and CMT playing on the television and Amy sleeps on quietly in the room behind me.
I awoke this morning with the desire to make my resolutions for the new year. What will I do this year? What contributions will I make to my own life and to the lives of those who share mine? Doing my best thinking for me involves slowing my brain down enough to make sense of the thoughts that fly through my cranium at lightning speeds on their way into oblivion and the best way to do that is to get on a keyboard and put them down as they fly by. At first my fingers have an impossible job; to catalog the material screaming through my head, but as I continue to type the thoughts seem to slow just enough, like congested traffic passersby, angrily honking horns inside my head in impatience. They do eventually however resign themselves to their fate and wait patiently to be let through the highway of my consciousness, allowing me to sit and speak to most of them personally, if not each and everyone. For example I just let that one about Brad Paisley on the TV pass right on through.. waved it right on by. My hands walk out onto the shoulder of the mental interstate and just shudder at the traffic flying by. The only way to bend it to my will is to step out in the middle of it, raise my hands, and force it to stop and wait. It’s an interesting phenomenon when I sit and force myself to think slowly. It’s almost painful sometimes.
So, what am I going to do this year different than last year? It’s a lot to think about, and even more to try to put down on this blog.
For starters, I’m going to step back and punt… take a moment to look downfield at what’s ahead of me, back up a few steps to collect my breath, and then charge ahead and kick the hell out of this new year. I’m going to drive my dreams all the way to the end zone this year. I’m going to dodge where I need to, charge ahead where I need to, and sometimes I’m going to lose ground and need to come up with a new play. Ok, enough with football analogies.
I’m going to take Twisted Networx in new directions, but mainly I’m going to bring us back into control and focus our push in to areas we have ignored a little bit this past year. I’ve learned this year that while I’m great behind a keyboard, look fine in a suit, and enjoy jetting off to other parts of the country from time to time I am much happier at the end of a day when I’m tired, dirty, covered in sweat and grime, and just finished a long day of hard work. So that’s what I’m going to push into; push back harder into structured cabling, custom wiring projects, telephony and spend less time behind a keyboard clacking keys.
I’m going to get Jordan’s Woodshop opened up, at least in a small sense. My father was a craftsman, as was his father before him, and I find that much of the skill lies dormant within my own spirit. My mind is most at rest when working with wood, so I’m going to take a little time this year to use that as my zen-place. I’m going to take on projects that people request, but I’m going to do them in my own way. I’m going to work the woodshop to please myself, not others. If I don’t feel at home with the idea, I’m not going to build it. If I do build it then it will come away with a piece of my spirit and my soul in it. If it’s not what they thought it would be, then they will have been better shopping at home depot rather than at my shop.
I’m going to move. I’m going to give up my condo with its hardwood floors, enormous living room, and contemporary decor and I’m going to spend more time at home with Amy in Albemarle. More than anything that place and that woman bring me peace, make me want to be better than I am. The air is crisper, life is plainer, more black and white, and the love is purer; so that’s what I’m going to do. There are still shades of grey, most especially within my own spirit, but they are all painted with smoother strokes and softer brushes than the life I’ve had for so many years. Lots of what makes me who I am has to be shed, reshaped, and some things have to be pushed away, put down, and there needs to be room for me to be the man she deserves me to be. She makes me want that life and want to be that person, so it’ll be a battle, but I’ll do it because she’s worth it.
And now, today, my new years resolution is to go get this woman some breakfast. It seems Bojangles is the order of the day today.
Happy New Years to all of you.